“There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask “What if I fall?”
Oh but my darling,
What if you fly?”
This move has been a strange one. Technically, I’ve moved back to the country that I grew up in, back to the country where I don’t have to worry too much about making weird comments in the native language and back to a lifestyle that feels familiar–each can of soup and bottle of salad dressing brings back memories of a time long past.
But then, I’m on the complete opposite side of the country from my hometown and I still gape in awe every time I see the ocean beyond the road.
The lush Connecticut forests of my childhood are replaced with incredibly tall palm trees. High-rise apartment buildings that surrounded my place in Nagoya are replaced by a particularly beautiful lemon tree in my backyard.
And this change.
It’s exciting. It’s good.
It’s full of positive energy and watercolor sunsets. I am slowly falling for this place.
But I’m also slightly scared. Nervous. Unsure of what to expect in a new city that requires me to drive everywhere. I love road trips but I am usually in charge of music and mind numbing chatter that sometimes leads to epiphanies and at others leads to a fight that has either my husband or I wanting to open the car door and dive out while the car is still cruising down the highway.
I haven’t been behind the wheel in an embarrassing number of years. Hopefully though, I’ll learn quickly so that I don’t become a hermit who lives in a gorgeous setting.
Oh, and yes. There’s the whole matter of me, being me.
I am kinda socially awkward and get extremely tongue-tied when I meet people for the first time. I am that girl who sits and stares from the back of the classroom on the first day of school. And all of this newness is sort of warping me back to those days. It’s like I hit the reset button on my life and I’m starting over with a clean slate.
Which is sort of cool. But equally scary.
Then again, I keep telling myself, “What have I got to lose?”
So I’m stepping forward (with a shaky foot and sweaty palm, mind you) to make the most of this fabulous place.
So what if I fall?
I may fly.